rosso è bello

when in doubt wear red
bill blass

tieni una rubrica di posta del cuore, ora? sghignazza domino hurley, incrociandomi nell’atrio del ddm con un fascio di lettere tra le mani. no, sono i miei fans. la censura mi ha dato l’ok, sussurro con aria complice. e da quando abbiamo una censura, noi? chiede interdetto. la possibilità che la mia corrispondenza sia controllata mi attribuisce uno status invidiabile, alle orbite vuote di quel teschio da cripta.
una lettera spicca su tutte, la busta fittamente istoriata di minuscole falci&martello e stellinerosse. all’interno, il racconto di un sabato moscovita – stavolta in caratteri latini, senza sadiche traslitterazioni – e la mappa delle rete metropolitana.
vieni con me, ti faccio vedere la città, le ha proposto boris in un raro momento di sobrietà. un’estenuante carrellata di stazioni della metro, per ammirare le opere d’arte del realismo socialista: fregi, mosaici, bassorilievi ed affreschi con fieri partigiani, alacri operai, leggiadre ballerine, arditi cosmonauti, ispirati musicisti, assorti letterati, virili battellieri del volga, infidi pasticcieri trozkisti. all’ennesimo, plastico atleta ingeborg è balzata dentro una carrozza della metropolitana in partenza. anche boris è riuscito a salire, ma un lembo del cappotto è rimasto impigliato nelle porte. una situazione umiliante. lo sventurato tentava invano di darsi un contegno, appoggiato alla porta con finta disinvoltura, mentre la piccolakrukka lo bersagliava con palle di carta di giornale grandi come angurie.

dopo ero nella красная площадь. che poi non è una piazza ma solo un spazio grande e vuoto dentro alla città, con pochi palazzi persi: il кремль, il museo storico statale, il гум, la собор василия блаженного, il mausoleum del signor lenin. questo signore è famoso. sta sempre insieme all’amico signor marx, passa tutto il giorno con i turisti in fila per vedere la sua mumia e gli piace farsi le foto mentre li abbraccia.
là vicino c’è il palazzo vecchio del kgb, la casa delle spie. boris, da vivo, aveva un büro lì dentro, sai? il suo lavoro era scrivere la vita delle persone.

sul lato occidentale del cremlino, nel giardino di alessandro, ingeborg ha visto snodarsi una lunga fila di coppie di sposi. erano in attesa del proprio turno per una fotografia con la bandiera rossa in mano, presso la tomba del militeignoto.
alla fine della lunga passeggiata, boris si è accostato ad un baracchino e le ha offerto una bella картошка fumante. alla piccolakrukka piace la cucina russa. solo, vorrebbe che non mettessero tanto finocchietto selvaggio in tutti i cibi.

красная площадь (krasnaja ploščad’): la piazzarossa era in origine chiamata posto vuoto, poi posto bruciato, infine piazza rossa, tra qualche anno posto turistico. in realtà il suo nome è bella piazzabello e rosso in russo hanno la stessa radice – ma il colore dominante degli edifici inganna lo straniero e in ogni caso il comunismo non ha fatto nulla per sciogliere l’equivoco: anzi, ha fatto credere agli stessi russi che la piazza sia rossa e non bella. la parola красный (krasnyj) è polisemica, al punto che accostata a pesce può significare pesce cartilaginoso. se vi indicano una vasca con i pesci rossi non immergete la mano, potrebbero essere squali
кремль (kreml’): il cremlino è il nucleo fortificato della città, e come tale quello di mosca non è l’unico. la commedia dell’arte sovietica prevedeva che – nei momenti storici o durante le tradizionali e folcloristiche parate militari – i pupazzetti di partito si affacciassero dalla sommità del mausoleo di lenin, davanti alle mura del cremlino, in atto benedicente e con vaga aria di approvazione
гум – главный/государственный универсальный магазин (gum – glavnyj/gosudarstvennyj magazin): finché erano statali, i magazzini generali erano accessibili solo alla nomenklatura di partito e agli occidentali; ora che sono grandi, vi fanno shopping mafiosi e zoccole. coin sta al gum come un negozietto cinese sta a prada. tre gallerie su tre livelli, con coperture in vetro e passaggi aerei, tra arredi, luminarie e decorazioni lussuosi. orchestrine jazz vi vivono recluse, con grossi ceppi alle caviglie
собор василия блаженного (sobor vasilija blažennogo): la cattedrale di san basilio è il risultato della fusione di 10 cappelle dalle caratteristiche cupole a gelatoespresso. al suo interno non c’è spazio per pregare, ma molto per perdersi. si narra che lo zar chiese ai due architetti progettisti se sarebbero stati in grado di costruire una chiesa ancora più bella. i due fessi risposero di sì e lo zar ivan, detto il terribile e non certo il sensibile, li fece accecare. realizzata per commemorare la vittoria sui tartari, nel 1588 fu aggiunta la decima cappella in onore di san basilio, che le donne moscovite pregavano per evitare gravidanze indesiderate. culto allo studio del cardinale ruini, che sta pensando di introdurlo in italia come metodo contraccettivo
картошка (kartoška): patata cotta su cui è praticata una fenditura. può essere farcita con polpa di granchio, würstel, cetrioli, salmone, funghi, aringa, carne di origine incerta, gli avanzi della cena dell’omino o la cenere delle sue sigarette. viene condita – secondo le preferenze cromatiche, olfattive e gustative del cliente – con delicate salsine, i cui colori coprono l’intero spettro della luce visibile, dalla senape alla mousse di cavolo. possiede l’equivalente calorico di una tinozza di spaghetti alla carbonara

196 thoughts on “rosso è bello

  1. ache qui i succhi gastrici son stimolati. Un mucchio selvaggio anche per me.

    Ma poi, mi sembra questa una lezione di storia, una guida turistica avvertita, un aridatece er Baffone

  2. mi piace tutta sta roba in cirillico o chissàcosa… peccato non capirci una cippa!

    pensa che negli anni Sessanta e io ne ho settanta non perdevo una lezione di russo alle quattordici su Rai Uno!

    yakkov

    (erroneamente il commento era finito nel precedente post, meglio abbondare…)

  3. yakke, si può essere nonni e ggiovani allo stesso tempo, eh.

    stento a credere che su raiuno dessero lezioni di russo. di polacco, forse.

  4. data l’età… potrei confondere il primo con il secondo (ma forse il secondo manco c’era!), era intorno al ’75 e le lezioni erano di russo (non polacco), sicuro perché, ricordo benissimo, la Cgil in una sua sede (esattamente via E. Raggio, Genova) faceva scuola di russo e avrei voluto frequentarla, quando poi per tv nel primo pomeriggio (forse non ha attecchito…) almeno un anno tenevano sotto forma di sketches lezioni di inglese, introdussero il russo tenni un quaderno… poi… smisi col sindacato e presi di mira la gnocca!!!

    ciao

    yakke

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